This week my parents stay in China while i have little quiet time to face God, myself alone? which i enjoyed very much.
i usually write in Chinese by it spends too much of my time and energy, then still want to write something so decide to do it by English.
Chinese New Year is all about blessing, traditionally there are 5 blessings in Chinese's culture, priority as follow: peace, health, wealth, happiness and success.
to me lately i come across some important decisions of my life, i start to realize a decision making do not just affect oneself, no one can really say: its my choice, so i am the only one who will bear the consequences.
i think existing itself is already affecting things around it, people might think it is so insignificant or maybe people just do not recognize one's importance. never the less usually a single decision is the beginning of many little decisions, like a nuclear chain-reaction.
the more i spend time to think, the more i truly feel we all need some sort of guidelines, the more i take my life seriously, the more i afraid mistakes i can be making.
no one want to look back in life one day and suddenly feel: gosh, i was so stupid, what was i thinking?
or gosh, only if...
the best outcome in life probably is before i pass away, i can write a Autobiography that the contents is so rich (not money rich, well, if your contents are rich your book usually sell as well) people who read it will comment in the review: this is a life every men should have lived.
In many funerals i have attended to people can make comment the person with sentences like: he is a funny guy, he is such a loving person, he will be remembered, blah blah blah with all the unrealistic nice things. some better can be: he is a legend, he is a great man, etctc.
i mean what can you say about a dead person except nice things? he was an asshole to me? he still own me 100 bucks? don't think so.
but there wasn't once i hear people say: he is a man. this is what a man's life should be like.
this comment sounds so ordinary, so fair, so common, almost uncreative but truly honestly i never heard anyone make such comment. when you put some thought into it, it is so ordinary yet so unachievable. when was the last time i see a person and say: this is a man.
What kind of man?
just a MAN.
hmmmm, i havn't found one yet.
this is so very simple, we all born to be men, but simple doesn't mean easy, how hard is it to be a man? harder than lady gaga dress normally i guess.
so yeah, the goal is simple, live like a man should be.
traditionally Chinese New Year shouldn't talk about death, those "unlucky" things. but to me, the true blessing is have no fear to talk about anything at anytime, and more importantly no need to think. which both is still quite hard for me at the moment.